The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes

[big dogie]

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes driver's license. She dug
through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?'' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, ''It's square and it has your picture on it.''

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman. ''Here it is,'' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
''Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.''

 

[stinkynuts]

ROLFMAO!!! That was hilarious!

 

[delta2990135]

blonde joke

hear about the dead blonde in a closet? 1984 hide and seek champion.

 

[a 1 player]

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?"

 

[jerbear]

I'm writing these jokes down . LMFAO.

 

[HAMSTER INSPECTOR]

*

A cop pulls a blond over on the highway......................

The cop sais to the blond, Miss did you know that you were going over the speed limit?

The blond sais, Please officer. Dont give me a ticket. I might loose my licence if I get another ticket!

The cop sais. Well OK, maybe we can resolve this situation another way. The cop then unzips his pants and pulls out his dick.

The blond exclaims. Ohh no! Not another BREATHALIZER TEST

 

[papasmerf]

................you are on the other side.

 

[BallzDeep]

Two blondes on each side of the street, one yells to the other, 'how do I get to the other side', other replies ' you are on the other side'.

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming and waving) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?

 

[stang]

Two blondes walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it.
"That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose.
"Yeah. What's it called?"
"Viens a moi" says Sharon reading the bottle.
"Viens a moi? What's that mean?"
A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"

 

[Mia.Colpa]

Q: What do you call a blonde with a looney over her head?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

A: All you can eat for under a dollar.

 

[Quest4Less]

What did the blonde say after sex... "So, are you guys all on the same team"?

How did the blonde turn on the lights after sex.... she opened the car door....

 

[red]

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

 

[red]

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

 

[red]

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

 

[RayFinkel]

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Scroll Down. --->




























<----- Scroll Up.

 

[RayFinkel]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

 

[BallzDeep]

A blond goes into a drugstore and is looking for ass perfume, she can't find it so she asks the pharmacist where she could find it. The pharmacist replies 'I've been doing this for 20 years and I've never heard of ass perfume, could you go home and get an old bottle?'

She returns about an hour later and shows the pharmacist the bottle, he laughs and says 'ma'am this is deodorant, not ass perfume'....to which she replies 'you're mistaken, it says right here on the bottle to push up bottom'

 

[Rockslinger]

What the heck, here goes.

1) A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street. The brunette turns to the blonde and says: "Look at that dog with only one eye." The blonde covers one of her eyes and says: "Where, where is that dog?"

2) Blonde tells this guy that she made 250% in the Russian stock market in 1997 and lost 100% in 1998 so she is still up 150%.

3) Blonde giving investment advice: "Invest 1/3 of your money in bonds, 1/3 in stocks, 1/3 in real estate and keep 1/3 in cash."

 

[tallmonster]

blonde joke
http://www.gopotato.tv/player.php?video=GPJ1202325042GP47aa06322e1cc&etype=1