The Pleasure of Your Own Hand...

[deep_blue]

One day the King decided that his dogs were getting fed too well when one of them, Rex, refused to eat a piece of bread. You see Rex had gotten used to being fed steak, and simple bread wasn't good enough for him any more.

King asked all his Advisors what he should do, and no one had an answer. But there happened to be a poor man in court that day who heard the conversation, who boldly asked the King "What would you give me if I could train your dog to eat bread?"

"A 100 gold pieces" responded the King, which was a small fortune, particularly to the poor man. The poor man agreed, replied he needed 2 weeks, at which point the dog would eat bread. Off they went, Rex and the poor man.

2 weeks later they returned, and to the King's delight, Rex was eating bread like it was going out of style. He ordered the poor man paid, but demanded to know how he achieved this miracle.

"Simple" replied the poor man, "I didn't feed Rex anything for the first week, then gave him nothing but bread afterwards."

Okay, cheesy story, but the OP is the King, Rex is his cock, bread is actual sex with another person, the poor man is me, and the Advisors are the rest of Terbland.

Stop fucking masturbating for a couple of weeks and you'll be reset! All due respect to Gen (I think she's just too kind to cut you off entirely), but nothing works like quitting cold turkey!

So I should refer to my cock as "Rex" then? I kinda like that name


Your analogy only works if I can find some "bread"...

 

[Brill]

Okay, cheesy story, but the OP is the King, Rex is his cock, bread is actual sex with another person, the poor man is me, and the Advisors are the rest of Terbland.

BTW, Rex is another word for King, which is why the cock often rules when making a decision.
Bread in French is pain, which would be fitting if you're into BDSM.

 

[katcalla]

Quit masturbating?????? No, we must go forward and improve the pleasure of your own hand - don't accept fascist attitudes from the gals like gen who want our cocks to submit to her cruel training!
We need to exchange ideas, it may be a solo act but that doesn't mean we can't work as a team. Anyone have self prostate massage tips?

There are penis attachments for drills and reciprocating saws so I don't see why one cannot make a fleshlight attachment as well?

 

[TROOPS]

No woman will ever satisfy me like my two pretend-a-girlfriends, names Palmala and Handgela.

 

[catsingool]

Sounds like the character of a movie I watched once... Can't remember the name of it off hand, it was a black actor- (maybe Don Faison from Scrubs...) Anyway he was not interested in women anymore and just wanted to beat off all the time.

I just don't see it happening in R-L though, unless out of necessity.

May not be the movie but I remember this one and it has always stayed with me cause it rang true at the time at least, its from the movie "Your Friends & Neighbors": So, you want to know what the best lay I ever had? Right. That's easy, it's me. Nobody gives me more pleasure than I give myself

 

[checks]

Sounds like the character of a movie I watched once... Can't remember the name of it off hand, it was a black actor- (maybe Don Faison from Scrubs...) Anyway he was not interested in women anymore and just wanted to beat off all the time.

I just don't see it happening in R-L though, unless out of necessity.

It was the movie The Big Hit,with Marky Mark and Lou Diamond Phillips. I forget the name of the black guy, but he always had one of those grip-strengthening things in his hand. And his character always talked about it.

 

[dr tongue]

Be careful. If you are ambidextrous you can get the clap.

 

[elmo]

I prefer Goober's hand