What do you think?

[GPIDEAL]

I used to hear from one guy who bragged "Treat them like shit, and they'll love you more". That might work in certain cases, but not in the long run.

I had a first date with a woman years ago. I didn't call her back until about 5 - 7 days later (I can't remember exactly, but it was the busiest time of year for me, so I had a lot on my mind), and she gave me shit for not calling to tell her how I felt about her or our date. I thought this was a bit odd, and when I tried to allay her concerns or give an explanation, she accused me of trying to turn the table on her. I didn't bother persuading her but told her that I was sorry that I made her feel this way, and said it was nice knowing her, or words to that effect.

So the OP's philosophy doesn't work always or forever. It is short-term manipulation. (I wasn't trying to manipulate the lady in my example btw).

 

[tml]

Unfortunately in any relationship it's use or be used.

 

[Titalian]

Unfortunately in any relationship it's use or be used.

If you let it happen ! As I said above, at my age, I'm way past that.

 

[tml]

If you let it happen ! As I said above, at my age, I'm way past that.

That means you've gone from being used to being the user.

 

[Titalian]

That means you've gone from being used to being the user.

What ever you do don't put words in my mouth, What I meant was, if I were looking, I'd want a mature relationship with all this crap aside.

 

[tml]

What ever you do don't put words in my mouth, What I meant was, if I were looking, I'd want a mature relationship with all this crap aside.

Do you think I'm the kind of guy that would try and put something in your mouth?

 

[corp]

Personally, that bad boy shit would fly when I was younger, i.e 18 and 19.

NOW? I'm still in my early twenties but thank GOD for this industry.

Because of the amazing gentlemen who I meet regularly? I now hold men to a higher standard and have an extremely low tolerance level for bullshit, games and attitude.
I wouldn't hesitate to cut someone loose who attempted that with me.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

That maybe be true for the minority but I find most women are in the majority and want to be treated badly. I just don't understand this concept. You have had the experience of meeting many people so now your view is different. My experience is the same as the OP the only difference is with me I just can't be something I am not. I'm a people person, I genuinely care about people, stranger or not. I treat people the way I want to be treated. With kindness and respect.
Maybe I'm destined to be in this hobby forever, I don't know. When I like you I'm going to tell you. I've been down the road of being too shy to say anything and possibly missed out. Maybe she liked me too maybe she didn't. That was a learning experience for me.
Its too bad people are so complicated. I wish it were more simple as Jessica S said

 

[Chloë.]

That maybe be true for the minority but I find most women are in the majority and want to be treated badly. I just don't understand this concept. You have had the experience of meeting many people so now your view is different. My experience is the same as the OP the only difference is with me I just can't be something I am not. I'm a people person, I genuinely care about people, stranger or not. I treat people the way I want to be treated. With kindness and respect.
Maybe I'm destined to be in this hobby forever, I don't know. When I like you I'm going to tell you. I've been down the road of being too shy to say anything and possibly missed out. Maybe she liked me too maybe she didn't. That was a learning experience for me.
Its too bad people are so complicated. I wish it were more simple as Jessica S said

Women don't WANT to be treated badly. Not sure where that stems from, but that's completely false.

They want to be the girl who changes a bad boy. It has nothing to do with wanting to be disrespected.

Not sure there is ANY person who prefers to be treated badly, unless it's like a Dom/sub relationship and even then with things like humiliation or other fetishes geared towards a specific type of treatment, there are hard limits, safe words and most importantly, respect.

On the flip side:
If a girl isn't treating you right or reciprocating the attention and care you are showing? She doesn't like you as much as you think.

She may be using you for the attention and think you are a sweetheart but you aren't the one she wants to give her heart to.

 

[Titalian]

That maybe be true for the minority but I find most women are in the majority and want to be treated badly. I just don't understand this concept. You have had the experience of meeting many people so now your view is different. My experience is the same as the OP the only difference is with me I just can't be something I am not. I'm a people person, I genuinely care about people, stranger or not. I treat people the way I want to be treated. With kindness and respect.
Maybe I'm destined to be in this hobby forever, I don't know. When I like you I'm going to tell you. I've been down the road of being too shy to say anything and possibly missed out. Maybe she liked me too maybe she didn't. That was a learning experience for me.
Its too bad people are so complicated. I wish it were more simple as Jessica S said

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, But be aware.

 

[Titalian]

Women don't WANT to be treated badly. Not sure where that stems from, but that's completely false.

They want to be the girl who changes a bad boy. It has nothing to do with wanting to be treated horribly.

Not sure there is ANY person who prefers to be treated badly, unless it's like a Dom/sub relationship and even then with things like humiliation or other fetishes, there are hard limits, safe words and most importantly, respect.

On the flip side:
If a girl isn't treating you right or reciprocating the attention and care you are showing? She doesn't like you as much as you think.

She may be using you for the attention and think you are a sweetheart but you aren't the one she wants to give her heart to.

They call this the instinctive Mother syndrome.

 

[whitewaterguy]

The stereotypes being described in this thread are laughably yet sadly typical of the dating crowd, desperately seeking the perfect hollywoodian mate. Quit trying to play roles, find yourself first, try to offload your own cultural and societal indoctrination. Once you have figured out who YOU are, engaging in relationships will develop much more readily.

The notion of power and power imbalances/control, are dated concepts stemming from caveman roots and need to be tossed aside. Any relationship struggling with power issues is doomed. Thinking you need to enter a friendship whilst maintaining a power advantage is a ridiculously immature approach and you will get what you deserve each and every time.

Time to grow up. Just exercise some maturity, self confidence, be your sincerest self, and maybe try becoming friends with women other than superficial bimbos

 

[Titalian]

The stereotypes being described in this thread are laughably yet sadly typical of the dating crowd, desperately seeking the perfect hollywoodian mate. Quit trying to play roles, find yourself first, try to offload your own cultural and societal indoctrination. Once you have figured out who YOU are, engaging in relationships will develop
Much more readily. The notion of power and power imbalances/control are dated concepts stemming from caveman roots and need to be tossed aside. Any relationship struggling with power issues is doomed. Thinking you need to enter a friendship whilst marinating a power advantage is a ridiculously immature
Approach and you will get what you deserve. Time to grow up. Just exercise some maturity, self confidence, be your sincerest self, and maybe try becoming friends with women other than superficial bimbos

Great post W and very true. But I have to add this stuff with dating can't be taught, it has to be experienced. When young or naive, its just too charged. (Trial and error)

 

[Vermeer27]

Women don't WANT to be treated badly. Not sure where that stems from, but that's completely false.

They want to be the girl who changes a bad boy. It has nothing to do with wanting to be disrespected.

Not sure there is ANY person who prefers to be treated badly, unless it's like a Dom/sub relationship and even then with things like humiliation or other fetishes geared towards a specific type of treatment, there are hard limits, safe words and most importantly, respect.

On the flip side:
If a girl isn't treating you right or reciprocating the attention and care you are showing? She doesn't like you as much as you think.

She may be using you for the attention and think you are a sweetheart but you aren't the one she wants to give her heart to.

Chloe's presence on this board, where compassion and honesty seem so rare, is a public service.

 

[Smallcock]

Guys please start by being honest about what you actually want. Most men, including the OP, are less interested in a genuine relationship and instead are actually looking for a fuckbuddy (sex with no strings attached - other than some trivial dinner dates and movie nights - over an extended period of time, even a lifetime). When that's the case playing the "badboy" role makes sense and it will get you much more pussy than if you were an attentive "goodboy". This is because the type of women attracted to these guys are unfulfilled, immature, and damaged, and there is no shortage of women in that category. Let's be honest, you've cracked the code. You have now learned that the way you were just trying to get into her panties by being a good guy is the wrong way to get laid. You've never cared much about her other than the chance to fuck her anyway and you initially played the role that came naturally to you - the good guy - to do it. Now you know there is a better way.

If you want more than just a woman to get your dick wet, you'll widen your horizon and discover that there are plenty of women who make for great relationship material. When you see a woman than more than just a hot piece of ass and stop devising a strategy merely to fuck her, you might actually find she's a kind and interesting person that you enjoy doing activities with that don't revolve around sex.

If that doesn't interest you, by all means date for sex by playing the role, and supplement it with escort sex. It's what I do, for now and the near future. Life is great. Working toward achieving big dreams keeps me too occupied for much more.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I could not disagree more with some of the posts on here...like seriously, are you guys for real with this stuff?

Plutonic friendship is possible and exists more then you guys think. Just because some of you guys want just pussy all the time or use or be used mentality does not mean that we are all like that. Geezer, way to simplify everybody. Yes, what you describe exists, however there are too many types of friendship and/or relationships to describe here.

Seriously, when you have kids, a SO, good job, nice house, lots of eduction, when you have everything covered, have sampled lots of different pussy out there, sometimes you realize the value in unique connections that you make with some people is way more important then just pussy or let's see how much I can use this person for my own benefit mentality. GAWD, when are you guys going to realize that you can't define people like this, and that we change too much for anybody to really figure it out.

 

[Titalian]

I could not disagree with this more. I did not read the rest of this thread, I think its a bad idea.

Plutonic friendship is possible and exists more then you guys think. Just because you guys want just pussy all the time or use or be used mentality does not mean that we are all like that. Geezer, way to simplify everybody. Yes, what you describe is common, however there are too many types of friendship and/or relationships to describe here.

Seriously, when you have kids, a SO, good job, nice house, lots of eduction, when you have everything covered, have sampled lots of different pussy out there, sometimes you realize the value in unique connections that you make with some people is way more important then just pussy. GAWD, when are you guys going to realize that you can't define people like this, and that we change too much for anybody to really figure it out.

So true.

 

[MissCroft]

Why all the games ? I seems like a waste of time and energy to me . What about letting it just flow ? Just be yourself and see what happens . I just feel like if your pretending to be something your not it wont ever go anywhere for the right reasons . There is nothing wrong with having friends with benefits if both parties agree ( I've had a few ) and nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship but keep it real and be true to you . If there is a connection our bodies and brains tell us what to do , go with it !

Blue

For the record, I never felt that I played games. I have always been honest with men about the way I felt. But I feel one guy managed to get the best of me and manipulate me. I was one of those women that said, "No, I would never let any man play games or do that to me!" And then it happened. It can happen when you least expect it.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Why all the games ? I seems like a waste of time and energy to me . What about letting it just flow ? Just be yourself and see what happens . I just feel like if your pretending to be something your not it wont ever go anywhere for the right reasons . There is nothing wrong with having friends with benefits if both parties agree ( I've had a few ) and nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship but keep it real and be true to you . If there is a connection our bodies and brains tell us what to do , go with it !

Blue

Awesome response and so true :thumb:

 

[MissCroft]

Actually MissC I did not post that in response to anything you posted here and like you I fell victim and allowed myself to be manipulated as well . I own my part in it , now I let no one in , never again will I get involved that deeply , its too intense .

Sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like I was responding to you directly. I just wanted to say that I don't play the power game but that I've had it done to me. Somewhat ashamed and disappointed with myself that I let a man do that to me.

For those that say they would never let it happen, well, I thought the same thing.

 

[Serpent]

People who play games usually are shallow and stay alone because they get figured out. Why one would choose to waste time doing that is beyond me.....oh wait: shallow!