Got Fucked Over

[a 1 player]

A1 - do you not test the women that you date in your attempts to find Mrs. Right?

For example, making sure that she is not just after you for your money?

I don't know if I would call it testing either or if test is the right word to be using. More about find out the values and qualities the person that I am dating has. Of course I ask question, engage in conversation and debate about different subjects but you want to see if people are just paying you lip service or this that is how they really are.


When you are dating, how do you go about finding if the person you are with has the qualities that you?

I absolutely 'test', my victims... um, dates to see if we are compatible. I was just interested to see if there was a difference between hoe a woman and a man conduct their 'tests..

 

[Rylan]

I absolutely 'test', my victims... um, dates to see if we are compatible. I was just interested to see if there was a difference between hoe a woman and a man conduct their 'tests..

How do you hoe a woman? LOL.

Sorry man couldn't resist.

 

[Carrie Moon]

How do you hoe a woman? LOL.

Sorry man couldn't resist.

same way you rake her..

 

[Rylan]

same way you rake her..

guess that is the same way you would moe her too.....

 

[Carrie Moon]

hunny.. it's mow..lol.. unless you are referring to the three stooges! then it would be curly, larry and moe her.. hmm. wondering way larrying her would be?

 

[Captain Fantastic]

wondering way larrying her would be?

larrying, larrying-up: In masonry construction, the laying of bricks by sliding the bricks into appropriate positions (for example, between the inner and outer walls of a cavity wall) and then filling the space between with mortar.

I can think of a few sexual inneuendos for that...

 

[genintoronto]

I absolutely 'test', my victims... um, dates to see if we are compatible. I was just interested to see if there was a difference between hoe a woman and a man conduct their 'tests..

I don't think I "test" potential partners or people I date, but I certainly pay particular attention to some things that are important to me, such as the way the person communicate with me (passive-agressive shit: you're out; inability to communicate needs/frustrations/desires in a grown-up, mature way: you're out; etc.), the way they interact with other people (how they treat service people such as waitresses, baristas, etc. says a lot to me), the way they interact with my friends/their friends, the way they talk about people around them, etc.

So, it's not so much about "testing" them as trying to figure out what kind of person they are based on how they interact with me and others.

 

[Carrie Moon]

I don't think I "test" potential partners or people I date, but I certainly pay particular attention to some things that are important to me, such as the way the person communicate with me (passive-agressive shit: you're out; inability to communicate needs/frustrations/desires in a grown-up, mature way: you're out; etc.),
the way they interact with other people (how they treat service people such as waitresses, baristas, etc. says a lot to me), the way they interact with my friends/their friends, the way they talk about people around them, etc.
So, it's not so much about "testing" them as trying to figure out what kind of person they are based on how they interact with me and others.

exactly! well said.

larrying, larrying-up: In masonry construction, the laying of bricks by sliding the bricks into appropriate positions (for example, between the inner and outer walls of a cavity wall) and then filling the space between with mortar. I can think of a few sexual inneuendos for that...

really?? had no idea that was even a verb. too funny. learn something new every day.

 

[Carrie Moon]

Incidentally, a woman that I was getting to know not too long ago showed me her true colours over a simple conversation we were having (it really demonstrated that she was quite volatile and perhaps unstable).

That might just be a case of PMS or too much sugar that day.. but either way.. not a pleasant circumstance and a red flag.

 

[genintoronto]

Me too! I just pay close attention. Of course, any behaviour that isn't calm & collect will take into consideration if I've done something wrong to cause it, or if it's otherwise justifiable.

Oh yes, that too.

The way someone handles frustration or anger says a lot about them too. I believe that everyone is entitled to their emotions, and frustration and anger are legitimate emotions. But I'm not interested in spending my time with someone who acts like a kid and pull a tantrum or becomes passive-aggressive when something frustrates or angers them, whether or not they have legitimate reasons to feel that way: you're entitled to your emotions, but you're not 7 anymore, don't act like you are.

 

[enduser1]

Oh yes, that too.

The way someone handles frustration or anger says a lot about them too. I believe that everyone is entitled to their emotions, and frustration and anger are legitimate emotions. But I'm not interested in spending my time with someone who acts like a kid and pull a tantrum or becomes passive-aggressive when something frustrates or angers them, whether or not they have legitimate reasons to feel that way: you're entitled to your emotions, but you're not 7 anymore, don't act like you are.

So you would have the same reaction I did when I showed up at the house of a friend who has a room mate. The "room mate" had a total screaming fit, a spazz and a meltdown. He ended up smashing dishes and throwing stuff, because he wasn't ready for me to come over. I just stood there kind of shocked and said "yo dude I'm not here to see you. Chillax"

EU

 

[a 1 player]

I don't think I "test" potential partners or people I date, but I certainly pay particular attention to some things that are important to me, such as the way the person communicate with me (passive-agressive shit: you're out; inability to communicate needs/frustrations/desires in a grown-up, mature way: you're out; etc.), the way they interact with other people (how they treat service people such as waitresses, baristas, etc. says a lot to me), the way they interact with my friends/their friends, the way they talk about people around them, etc.

So, it's not so much about "testing" them as trying to figure out what kind of person they are based on how they interact with me and others.

That is exactly what I meant by 'test'. Sometimes my words don't come out too good.

 

[Carrie Moon]

So you would have the same reaction I did when I showed up at the house of a friend who has a room mate. The "room mate" had a total screaming fit, a spazz and a meltdown. He ended up smashing dishes and throwing stuff, because he wasn't ready for me to come over. I just stood there kind of shocked and said "yo dude I'm not here to see you. Chillax"

EU

Yikes! I feel sorry for your friend to have such a psycho room-mate

 

[tboy]

That is exactly what I meant by 'test'. Sometimes my words don't come out too good.

I think what some were meaning by using the word "test" is put them into a situation and see whether they pass or fail. Not saying she actually did this, but the woman in question in this thread. Say she DID purposely wait until friday to return Dr L's call, and purposely, waited until early evening to call him and invite him out. Then premeditively thought: if he comes out with me, he passes, but if he turns me down? He Fails........

 

[drlove]

I think what some were meaning by using the word "test" is put them into a situation and see whether they pass or fail. Not saying she actually did this, but the woman in question in this thread. Say she DID purposely wait until friday to return Dr L's call, and purposely, waited until early evening to call him and invite him out. Then premeditively thought: if he comes out with me, he passes, but if he turns me down? He Fails........

Why does everything have to be a game?? It's incredibly immature, IMHO. I made it clear that I liked her and would have liked to see her again, hence I asked her out for the Friday. However, if she cannot extend me the courtesy of calling back in a timely fashion, who can blame me for making alternate arrangements? If the situation were reversed, I'm sure no one would fault the woman for doing exactly the same thing. Btw... she told me she wasn't upset at me for not accepting her last minute invitation. In fact, she decided not to go out after all, thereby ditching her friends, and ended up falling asleep!

 

[Carrie Moon]

UGGGHHHH. Dr love and Tboy. I think you've both well explained yourselves.. and you're both assuming alot! She ditched her friends? not proven.. they may have even not gone either.

Did she in fact test him?? we don't know for freaks's sake.

One thing is for sure.. you can easily gather people who will agree with your assumptions.. and that from my point of view.. is a jaded view on your parts. I can be sure of probably one thing.. if the woman in question ever viewed this.. you both so sincerely stuck in your points of view (If she were anything like me) she would run screaming..

but Dr. Love.... I think we were all waiting with baited breath (well we well amused ourselves obviously in the interim) for the next installment of our soap opera. Any word from her?

 

[Carrie Moon]

how about a different line of thought altogether?

view this woman and if you get something from it.. watch the rest.

She's an amazing teacher about preconceptions! Byron Katie (not Katie Byron as I had always thought)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHKajRpDn4Y

 

[drlove]

Dr. Love.... I think we were all waiting with baited breath (well we well amused ourselves obviously in the interim) for the next installment of our soap opera. Any word from her?

Well, as I said - I sent her a message on POF a few days ago basically laying everything on the line. Recently, her routine has been to log in once every 10 days or so. I'm just waiting for her to read it. She'll either ignore it completely, or reply and give me some sort of explanation. Either way, I'll have my answer very shortly. And yes... I wouldn't want to keep you all in suspense hahaha... As soon as I hear from her I'll make a post.

 

[ogibowt]

hunny.. it's mow..lol.. unless you are referring to the three stooges! then it would be curly, larry and moe her.. hmm. wondering way larrying her would be?

Nyuk nyuk nyuk..hey Moe hey Larry..there,s that sexy Milf Carrie...lol

 

[tboy]

Carrie?

Did you MISS this part of my post? I think you did.....

"Not saying she actually did this...."

I was using the situation in question to show an example of what a "test" could be....to Player who was mentioning that he didn't use the right words.......