I know.. but for once.. how about saying.. what if she did this??? ie. give her the benefit of the doubt.. seeing as that's a possible scenario as well...tboy said:
and damn!!! twobigo.. How are ya?? long freakin'time no see.
Got Fucked Over
- Thread starter drlove
- Start date
and damn!!! twobigo.. How are ya?? long freakin'time no see.
That's my point. I HAVE given her the benefit of the doubt on numerous occasions. However, she continues to do nothing in terms of reciprocation that would give me the idea that she's even interested anymore. E.g. She told me about one guy who didn't get the message that she didn't like him. She told me it was odd since she made it crystal clear to him it was a "no go" so that there would be no confusion.Carrie Moon said:
Of course, when I brought up the idea that she appears to be disinterested in me, she denies it and says stuff like oh, we should go out again, hope to hear from you etc.. If that isn't playing games or at least sending mixed signals, I don't know what is!
Good advice. For the record, I haven't talked to her in over a week. I'm just going to chill until she reads the e-mail. Then, it will be up to her about how she chooses to respond, if at all. We'll take it from there.JohnFK said:
yup.. agreed.. can be mixed signals.. even call it game playing.. I think many of us were just reacting to the 'fucked over' type of response.. way overkill.. just move on hun. Life is short enough already without this being a struggle. Spending time with someone and the getting to know one another is supposed to be fundrlove said:
I'm not going to try to speculate about what is going on in this woman's head, but if I were in her shoes, and some guy I've met online and been on a couple of dates with was pulling the kind of stuff you are pulling, expecting me to define our 'relationship' (what relationship???) and being high maintenance like you seem to be, I would certainly be seriously reconsidering my initial interest after that.drlove said:
Anybody who needs me after a few weeks of meeting me and a couple dates to explain to them that I have a life and that it will take a little more than a few dates for them to move up to priority #1 in my life will most likely not be part of said life for very long.
And it has nothing to do with playing games or 'testing' my potential partners. It's called being a self-actualized adult who expects other people I interact with to be self-actualized adults who don't need my constant approval and reassurance, and who will give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not out to get them.
I think that we've seen time and again there are a dearth of truly self-actualized adults on TERB.genintoronto said:
An aside: Yay! Now someone else is using that phrase! Self-actualized comrades in arms... um, TERB... unite!
You're right. I was ticked off when I wrote it, hence the over reaction. Although, it sure got everyone talking, didn't it?Carrie Moon said:
You're wrong. I never used the term 'relationship' in my conversations with her. I simply stated that I wanted to get a clearer idea of what it is that she's looking for, be it dating very casually/infrequently, FWB, was she looking to develop a potentially LTR at some point, or was she not sure of what she wants, and just looking to play the field for the time being. I just put all the options on the table, so to speak.genintoronto said:
i only got involved with this thread to say hello to my buddy Carrie Moon..and i usually don,t post in the "advice to the lovelorn" threads on this site, so im no expert but Dr Love seems to be the "needy" type that most women steer clear of..jmo..
a 1 players relationship advice
I know I have always said what is good for the man is good for the woman, but there is one exception.
ALWAYS let the woman bring up the question of relationship status.
I know I have always said what is good for the man is good for the woman, but there is one exception.
ALWAYS let the woman bring up the question of relationship status.
Well, ,she really wasn't giving me any choice. If she was interested in dating casually, say it... don't make me play the guessing game. I want to know where I stand so that I don't end up wasting my time in pursuing something that isn't there.Captain Fantastic said:Who does this after two dates?
It was two fucking dates! Are you for real? Seriously, have you never just dated before? Forget pedantic, you're just anal. Lighten the fuck up.drlove said:
Last edited:
For fuck sake. Who ask for this kind of clarification after TWO DATES???drlove said:
She may be open to the possibility of any of the above type of relationships, but how is she supposed to know whether she is interested in any one of them WITH YOU? She doesn't KNOW YOU yet, because you've only been on TWO DATES together. You can't ask someone to tell you whether they may be interested in a committed or fuck body or wahtever type of relationship with you before they've spend enough time with you to know if they want to go there with you. And since it doesn't seem to be obvious to you, this takes more than TWO DATES to figure out.
Until then, you are casually dating.
If you had spent those two dates with me though, and asking for that sort of clarification already, we wouldn't be dating anymore. Because you seem to lack basic understanding of the normal course of development of human relationships.
My point exactly. You'd think that if she was really interested she'd be making more of an effort here. I'm used to women calling me on a regular basis when we're dating, especially in the beginning stages when you're trying to get to know one another.genintoronto said:
