I don't understand how having a great time with a young lady half your age who wants to make an extra or a lot of money has you so down. I've been doing this for a long time with a long list of paid and unpaid sex and it's awesome! I would love to go back to 18 years old and do it all over again. This time I would know how to make a lot of money sooner to increase the bed count twofold by making more between 18 and 28. LOL
The Confessional
- Thread starter LC18
- Start date
Happy to come back to see this thread being more a non judgemental confessional thread for catharsis and not a place for the peanut gallery to chuck stones 
You missed the part where he said he has only had sex via payment.
It's a bit different from having the option for unpaid sex and either doing paid out of preference or to spice up the mix. The idea that you are unfuckable and or unloveable is a bitter pill to swallow.
Ah, yes, you are right, I did miss that part if that is the issue.
OK here goes my confessions, not all sexual....
1. I'm a member of TERB and started SC world at 16 sneaking in with fake ID. The SC visitations continues to this day. Double or dual life must be a source of stress.
2. I was terribly shy as a child bullied in early grade school for about a year. The worst memory is the bully made me eat dog shit and laughed his head off. Then he forced me to knock on a stranger's door and tell them to fuck off. The stranger called the police and I was brought home by the police. At some point I told the school principal about the bullying and he transferred the bully to another school.
3. In high school after my first breakup I lied to my family doc about being depressed and hearing voices to get out of final exams. I ended up in a psychiatric ward of hospital for 3 days diagnosed with manic depression. The psychiatrist wanted to try ECT, electric shock therapy as a treatment. Thankfully my father yanked me out of the hospital.
1. I'm a member of TERB and started SC world at 16 sneaking in with fake ID. The SC visitations continues to this day. Double or dual life must be a source of stress.
2. I was terribly shy as a child bullied in early grade school for about a year. The worst memory is the bully made me eat dog shit and laughed his head off. Then he forced me to knock on a stranger's door and tell them to fuck off. The stranger called the police and I was brought home by the police. At some point I told the school principal about the bullying and he transferred the bully to another school.
3. In high school after my first breakup I lied to my family doc about being depressed and hearing voices to get out of final exams. I ended up in a psychiatric ward of hospital for 3 days diagnosed with manic depression. The psychiatrist wanted to try ECT, electric shock therapy as a treatment. Thankfully my father yanked me out of the hospital.
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At first no, not knowingly at least because neither of us knew. Once we met in that living room and our eyes locked then, it was too late we had done what we had done. I was the one who called her after and we were like WTF, omg what a small world and thanked each other for being aware enough to go on with a superb acting job. I told her I want to do her more than ever and want to pay for the pleasure of the fucking my GF sister and she obliged. It was awesome and we both knew it wasn't going to last with her sister so it was cool.so she had sex with her sister’s boyfriend?
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A job is a job.so she had sex with her sister’s boyfriend?
I'm like a lot of guys here, my family and friends have no idea that I see providers.
I have told a few friends that I've been having casual sex with someone but other than that, I've never told anyone.
I have told a few friends that I've been having casual sex with someone but other than that, I've never told anyone.
I cheated, on my application to come to Canada high school, changed my grades from my high school back home to avoid repeating a grade. Found out later my curriculum back home was more advanced than Canada, so I basically cruised through high school.
Busted my ass in university, got a professional designation and hated every job I had because my bosses never appreciated my knowledge, skills or dedication.
Started seeing sps because it was easier than dating, discovered it after reading about it. Spent alot of money since, for the last 30 yrs I estimated a good $500k. Could have added that to my retirement fund but I would have been miserable.. lol. To all the fantastic ladies I have seen over the years, THANK YOU for saving a lost soul, and making me the confident person I am today.
Busted my ass in university, got a professional designation and hated every job I had because my bosses never appreciated my knowledge, skills or dedication.
Started seeing sps because it was easier than dating, discovered it after reading about it. Spent alot of money since, for the last 30 yrs I estimated a good $500k. Could have added that to my retirement fund but I would have been miserable.. lol. To all the fantastic ladies I have seen over the years, THANK YOU for saving a lost soul, and making me the confident person I am today.
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That is the thing, seeing an escort and looking for love are two completely different things and one should never mix the two.
I thought being in a four year relationship changed me to be a man who cared more about family, kids and marriage. I was ready and I really thought I was going to marry that woman. But when it ended I went right back to the streets like I used to do in the past and there's a part of me that's lowkey ashamed. I feel like at 30, this should already be out of my system but on top of sleeping around again, I have added escorting and spa visits to the mix. I can be hard on myself and despite that part of me that is telling me to try and find a good girl, settle down and whatnot...I feel stuck in this cycle and it's almost like I'm addicted to the attention, sex and fun I'm having. I'm not hurting anyone, I'm being honest, safe and obviously everything is consensual but there is that voice in my head that is telling me what I've been doing is wrong. Yet I don't stop. Idk.
I think that all you are doing is assessing how you feel about things as you go along. You are assessing the pros and cons to see what you feel suits your needs and those needs may change for you at different times. You know how to take of your sexual needs but keep your mind and eyes open for that special girl. And don't spend more than you should. That's addiction territory.
Having a bit of a connection and paying for it are not mutually exclusive.
This hobby will die with me. With that said, I am blessed to have so many wonderful experiences in this lifestyle with beautiful SP's. I do this to fill a void that has escaped me in this life, to love a woman and be loved by one. I accept it and realize that to achieve such a emotion is to forfeit this lifestyle - sad part is I don't want to leave this hobby.
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I became addicted to porn from a very young age. I remember coming home from school on my lunch to watch the playboy Channel. My porn addiction lead me to the curiousity of SW. I also remember the 1st time paying for sex. I was 18 and she was probably in her late 20's maybe early 30's, and I was off of work that day because I got hurt. I was on Quest Chat and made arrangements to meet her. I remember seeing "Final Notice" letters in her apartment as we sat chatted. I also remember the look on her face while she was on top of me during cowgirl. I think she sensed I was a bit nervous and I think she was probably second guessing herself and asking herself "what am I doing here, he is young". And so the flood gates were open and the adventure for pleasure began. I've had some good experiences and met really nice girls and but the amount of times I was ripped off and the bad experiences outweighs the good. In recent months I realized I used this "hobby" as an outlet when dealing with my personal mental health issues.
Today I'm 36 and made the decision as of 2 weeks ago to quit the "hobby". I announced my retirement during a session with a girl who I was a regular with. I guess you can call it a goodbye tour. Lol. 2 weeks later, the money I would have spent seeing a SW, I have been spending on my diet and I'm already down 5lbs in 2 weeks. I'm still in the beginning stages but I'm proud of my self. I'm still struggling with the porn, it just seems like every chance I get I need to be on Xvideos, but I think I can overcome that challenge with time.
Today I'm 36 and made the decision as of 2 weeks ago to quit the "hobby". I announced my retirement during a session with a girl who I was a regular with. I guess you can call it a goodbye tour. Lol. 2 weeks later, the money I would have spent seeing a SW, I have been spending on my diet and I'm already down 5lbs in 2 weeks. I'm still in the beginning stages but I'm proud of my self. I'm still struggling with the porn, it just seems like every chance I get I need to be on Xvideos, but I think I can overcome that challenge with time.
