Why do clients want to change Sps ?

[Alexis696969]

I have not read this whole thread and therefore apologize if this has been posted previously.

This an item I found on another board. I have some reservations about it but will see what others think.


This is a story told by an interviewer about " What can happen when you fall in love with a client or he falls in love with you "
She lay in bed in the fetal position in the mental ward of a hospital which has now become what she would call her home . It was hard to believe this was the same person I had just met and interviewed a few short months before When we first met I found her to be a happy perky lady with loads of self esteem and confidence, with very few hang ups and issues to overcome . She attributed her success in her business and personal life to a man who once paid her to have sex with him . Yes she was an escort and he was her client and they fell deeply in love or so she thought ?
They met at a sex industry function and felt an immediate attraction to eachother and exchanged contact information so that they could hook up . To her surprise he began emailing her regularly always very complimentary with lots of hugs and kisses attached . Flattered she told me she would always reply back to him .The emails continued but he wanted more communication between them and asked if he could meet her in a chat room where they could talk in private and sometimes for hours on end . Soon that didnt seem enough and phone numbers were exchanged and shortly after that they had what appeared to be there first date . He arrived bearing gifts , she said this was something that was unusual on a first date but did happen on occasion . She kissed him on the cheek to thank him for being so thoughtful . Little did either of them know this date would change them both forever with many more escort dates to follow and many non paying dates when she retired to be with him .
As time went by she realized that in order to hold on to him she would need to give up the escorting and there was nothing she wanted more then him so she retired to please him . This sacrifice caused huge financial change for her and her children and the demise of what seemed to be a perfect relationship between the two of them . She now had to learn to live and raise her family on a very limited budget with no help from him . They agreed in order for it to work they would both have to be exclusive to eachother which meant he would have give up this hobby as well . This however didnt take place not to mention him being married also complicated things . But with all its situations they vowed to stay together . Their were numerous times when he cheated and she found out and he would always either lie or talk his way around it . She felt betrayed and used but continued to allow the behavior because she loved him so much . It hurt so much because she struggled financially and felt he could have given her the money he used on other women to ease some of her burden . Over the years this behavior continued repeatedly . She accepted it and continued to enable him to hurt her .
This was not an ordinary relationship by any means they shared many things such as friends , family and aquired a certian amount of respect among there peers all the while keeping his marital status a secret . They became very resourceful in figuring out ways to spend holidays and time together without short changing there families . They enjoyed many outings and took Holidays together quite often . Over the years there relationship became very intense and promises of togetherness where being made . He realized making sacrifices for her was the only way the two of them could be together . He tapered down his activities with other women began lying less and became more open to making her a bigger part of his life . Through the many talks they shared and the love they made he made her beleive there was hope for them to be together . She began putting things in motion to allow them to take place on her end so that when he was ready there would be nothing standing in there way . Everything was set on her end and the day had come when he could prove to her that she was everything to him and that his promise of love and togetherness meant everything to him .
That did not happen , he did not make good on his promise and was not even man enough or respected her enough to face her but rather followed it up with a brief phone call telling her he was just using her all along and for her to not contact him ever again . She loved and resected him enough through all of that to not infringe upon his wishes . He knew her well enough to know she would not intrude .
She was devestated ! This was the begining of what her family calls the downward spiral that now has her laying in bed in the fetal position . This once very attractive lady who's hair and make up were always done to perfection , who's clothes defined her and made her stick out in a crowd and who's hygiene was impeccable but is now less then desirable to the the least desirable person Her family also says this man has no clue what this has done to her and how it has effected her children , children he once expressed concern for . Not to mention the love he shared with her . He has removed himself from her life obsolved himself of any resonsibility for the conditon he has left them in This behavior from a man that many ladies and fellow hobbiest in the sex industry viewed as a true gentleman and who was respected by ALL ? There is more to being a man / gentleman then bearing gifts , opening doors , pulling out chairs and making promises . It is hard to respect others when you dont respect yourself first . It's hard to love others when you dont love yourself first .
Beware ladies that you dont let this happen to you ! We always hear of the pitfalls and woes of us men being taken advantage of by the ladies out there but rarely is it ever told what happens when one of us men takes advantage of a women . This behavior is uncalled for and yet it could be any one of us as most if not all of us consider ourselves to be respectful and a gentleman . As for this MAN and you know who you are ( and I use the term losely ) shame on you for using someone who gave up everything for you and for not making good on your promises !
Interviewer : Jack

What a great read having lunch !!!!! That was awesome hambone! ....Ive seen that happen to escorts and non escorts and I thank you for sharing that ....Its true we always hear about men saying they were duped .....but I have certainly seen the other side ..lots of us gals can attest to that ....infact if i didnt witness so many girls that have been had ....I couldve made the same mistake .Im very thankful and aware of my boundaries and i wish other escorts would utilize same courage towards a client to not cross the line for there own mental health ......the ratio of happy endings becoming a couple in escort/client is slimmer to none in this business ...I have seen many platonic friendships derived from this industry that have lasted for years .....so that speaks for itself ....that money and sex changes everything when it comes to relationships ........So why cant we all not get so serious and enjoy all the journeys we share with someone during that hour or hours and treasure it and have the memories as a keepsake as opposed to trying to keep her .

 

[fuji]

With all due respect I think the story posted above about the woman in the fetal position is pretty one sided. I'm sure there are two sides to this story.

My reaction to a story like that:

1. Here's someone who's excuse for their life not working out the way they wanted is to blame someone else

2. The fact that he was married and that she was the other woman is glossed a little too much. She must have KNOWN that he is not really available for her.

3. My gut feeling is her life was on a downward spiral before she met this guy, and at most he helped stave it off a bit by giving her some unrealistic hope. That's just a gut reaction, I can't prove that obviously from the little information we have here.

People need to take responsibility for their OWN lives. Blaming her "downward spiral" on this guy and saying that he was entirely responsible for it is a way of saying that she isn't in any way responsible for the choices she made in her own life.

Sounds like what I call the Cult of Victimization: It's very comfortable and safe to go around saying that you're a victim, that all your problems are someone else's fault, it absolves you of having to try to improve your life since you always have "it's not my fault" to fall back on.

He may have actually said "I was just using you" as a way to cut the relationship off firmly. He got to a point where he found the conflict between his family and his GF was too much, and had to make a choice. He didn't choose her. That was always potentially in the cards, and he is not a bad guy for choosing his family over his GF. He wouldn't even necessarily be a bad guy if he had chosen it the other way around--it was a situation that couldn't go on for ever, and he ended it.

Well people break up with other people all the time, and you know what? Most people deal with it without winding up in the fetal position. So there's more going on here, with her, than just that this guy showed her some affection and then dumped her.

It's not really clear to me that he was using her at all, really, he tried a relationship with her and then decided to break it off. People have a right to break off relationships that aren't working for them. He's not an asshole for breaking up with her!

And if you want to lay blame with him for being a married guy, she equally shares in that for dating a guy she knows is married! At the very least she ought to have been emotionally prepared for him to eventually get to the wife-vs-gf decision and potentially not choose her!!

Also, overall, it sounds more like a "risks of dating a married guy" post than a "risks of a client-escort relationship". Not clear to me how her being an escort made this much better or much worse. Yeah, she quit her job to trya nd be with him, but she could always start it up again now that they're broken up, and presumably he helped her out a bit along the way, so how is she really harmed, beyond the usual ordinary normal pain of being dumped?

 

[DoingWhatIDoBest]

She is providing a service and naturally the thing to do is cultivate some sort of 'business relationship' with her customers. It's called repeat business. She wants him to keep coming back but remember it's a business. Once she crosses that line into just seeing him, everything including the kitchen sink goes out the window. I personally don't think she is wanting her own way or selfish as others here have said. If an escort is good at her job then clients keep coming back. Why does it have to be so difficult with ultimatums, attempting to control others by limiting her business?

let's look at it from another angle. Let's take the SP out of the scenario. I am a legal assistant who has been working for a firm for a year but I am now going to school to be a lawyer. I have a client I have helped out on a few cases during this year but he approaches me with a deal. I can go to school and he pays for it in full but during that time I can only help out his cases but he can hired others to help him out with his cases. And when I graduate and become a lawyer, I can only be his attorney forever and can never take any other clients. He pays X amount for my schooling but that's it. No money for food, car, home etc. Would I take it?

I think not! This is exactly what this guy brought to the table to this lady. Why would anyone with half a brain and an IQ of 50+ think this offer is not only unfair but logical wrong, let alone illegally pushing against on her freedom of rights. He was exclusive, he pays exclusive and that could run big $$$ on a monthly bases. Should have said "I will be exclusive for $50,000 a month". Then he has paid for the month to have him to himself and you wouldn't have to worry about other customers till the month is up. If he doesn't pay for the next month, then you go back to your regular schedule. He's just one cheap bastard and it was right of you to move on Alexis696969

What is this Match.com? The directories that have listings of SP are for hiring the ladies (business) it's not to find someone to love and to hold onto for life if you are not paying the rate that goes with that type of service. Geez when will some guys understand that the women are "pay to play". Go out the local bar and go find a woman to be your wife or girlfriend if you looking for exclusiveness.

 

[Adrenalin]

Perhaps it is that we have only heard one side of this story and have rushed to judgement based on that, but there is something about this thread that does not quite ring true for me.

From Miss Alexis’s point of view, the answer is simple. If she does not like what her regular of several years is proposing all she has to say is ‘No Thank you’

 

[Alexis696969]

ok Ill remember that the next time

that seems short and sweet enough LMAO

Do us chicks ever keep it simple ?..thats why we need men when it comes to simplicity !!! LOL

 

[Vancouver Femme Fatale]

On The Topic of Getting A "Real" Job...

Deciding what is and is not a real job for somebody else just reeks of smarminess. I decided long ago there was more to a real job than it being on the approved list of some chucklehead who would bore me senseless in 30 seconds.

For me, a 'real job' allows you control over who you work with, what work you do, engages a variety of different skills, and fairly compensates your abilities.

Independent escorting is, by far, the 'realest' job I've ever had the honour to have.